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[collected 2001-04-17 22:03:32 CDT (Apr Tue) 987563012]

INNER SKELETON
A 63yr old widow was admitted to the hospital in Recife, Brazil, suffering
abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 Inch long skeleton
of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged
outside the womb and was never expelled from her body.

FEMALE SOFA
A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the
examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found
under one of her breasts, and a remote control was found lodged between the
folds of her vulva.

PRICKLY PAIR
In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He
complained that his wife had "...a rat in her privates..." and it bit him
during sex. After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a
surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.

PING PONG ANYONE?
A 20yr old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said
that he and his boyfriend were
fooling around with concrete mix, then his boyfriend had the idea of
pouringthe mix into his anus using a
funnel. The concrete then hardened, causing constipation and pain. Under
general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was
removed...along with a ping pong ball.

BLIND DRUNK
A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while
trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out
halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a
suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and
discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been
trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.

OUCH
A couple hobbled into a Washington (state) emergency room covered in bloody
restaurant towels. The
man had his around his waist, and the woman had hers around her head. They
eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a
romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to
administer oral sex to the man. While in the act she had an epileptic fit,
which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to
side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in
the head until she let go.
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Earth: too weird to destroy.
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alexsiodhe, christopher north-keys, christopher alex north-keys