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[collected 2005-12-03 18:24:40 CST]

Do not read with full mouth!

Colonoscopies: A physician claimed that the following are actual
comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was
performing their colonoscopies:


1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone
before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

And the best one of them all...

12. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that
     my head is not up there."

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