On On, Mouse
Reasons Why Cookie Dough Is Better Than Men
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1. It's enjoyable hard or soft.
2. It makes a mess, too, but it tastes better.
3. It doesn't mind if you take your anger out on it.
4. You always want to swallow.
5. It won't complain if you share it with friends.
6. It's quick and convenient.
7. You can enjoy it more than once.
8. It comes already protectively wrapped.
9. You can make it as large as you want.
10. If you don't finish it, you can save it for later.
11. It's easier to get exactly the kind you want.
12. You can comparison shop.
13. It's easier to find in a grocery store.
14. You can put it away when you've had enough.
15. You know yours has never been eaten before.
16. It won't complain if you chew on it.
17. It comes in chocolate flavor.
18. You can always get rid of it.
19. You can return it--satisfaction is guaranteed.
20. It's always ready to go.
21. You won't get arrested if you eat it in public.
22. You don't have to change the sheets if you eat it in bed.
23. It won't wake you up because it's hard.
24. You don't have to find an excuse not to eat it.
25. You can tell your friends how much you've eaten without
sounding like you're bragging.
26. It won't hog the covers.
27 It's easy to pick up.
28 You never have unwanted cookie dough chasing you around.
29. You know what the extra weight is from.
30. It won't get jealous if you pick up another one.
31. It never has an insecurity problem with its size.
Reasons why men are better than cookie dough
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1. fewer calories
2. you don't burn calories eating cookie dough
3. men don't need to be refrigerated
4. cookie dough can only be eaten once
5. you have to pay for cookie dough
6. cookie dough doesn't keep you warm at night
7. cookie dough comes a non-biodegradable wrapper
8. Kissing cookie dough just isn't satisfying
9. Cookie dough stains
10. Cookie dough never gives you flowers
11. Hugging cookie dough is messy
12. Cookie dough doesn't eat you
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