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[collected 2002-02-26 - sent by a girl :-) ]

One perspective on WHY ARE DOGS BETTER THAN WOMEN?

Dogs don't cry.
Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs don't use your razor to shave their legs.
A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
Dogs are excited by rough play.
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
Dogs understand that farts are funny.
Dogs love red meat.
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
Anyone can get a good looking dog.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
Dogs don't shop.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
A dog's parents never visit.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for 
directions.
When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly you just get a new one.
Dogs like beer.
Dogs don't hate their bodies.
No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie and the Blowfish album.
No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
Dogs never criticise.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs never expect gifts.
It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
Dogs aren't paranoid about germs.
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk,
     and the back of your sock drawer.
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.
You never have to wait for a dog. They are ready to go 24 hours a day.
Dogs have no use for flowers, jewellery or cards.
Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
Dogs never want foot rubs.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
Dogs find it amusing when you are drunk.
Dogs can't talk.
Dogs aren't catty.
Dogs seldom outlive you.
Dogs have nothing to say if you scratch yourself.

HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE

Both look stupid in hats.
Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting.
Both tend to have "hip" problems.
Neither understand football.
Both look good in a fur coat.
Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say.
Neither believe that silence is golden.
Both constantly want back rubs.
Neither can balance a cheque book.
You can never tell what either of them is thinking.
Both put too much value on kissing.

HOW WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS

It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman.
Women look good in sweaters.
Women leave the room to fart. (Unless you are married!)
Though they only have two, women's breasts are far more interesting.

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Cogito ergo spud (I think therefore I yam).
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alexsiodhe, christopher north-keys, christopher alex north-keys