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[collected 2002-10-31]

HA - HA - HALLOWEEN!

    What do birds give out on Halloween?
    Tweets!

    How do you know if a ghost is lying?
    You can see right through him!

    Why wasn't the vampire working?
    He was on his coffin break!

    How can you tell when windows are scared?
    They get shudders!

    How do you picture yourself flying on a broom?
    By witchful thinking!

    What is a mummy's favorite music?
    WRAP!

    Why was the mummy so tense?
    He was all wound up!

    Who does a goblin go out with on Halloween?
    His ghoul friend!

    How do you mend a broken Jack-o'lantern?
    With a pumpkin patch!

    What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o'lantern
       by its diameter?
    Pumpkin Pi!

    What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
    He was repossessed!

    Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
    He had bat breath!

    Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
    Because of his coffin!

    What haunts your house and clucks?
    A poultry-gheist!

    Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
    He didn't have the guts!

    How do ghosts begin letters?
    "Tomb it may concern..."

    Why did the ghost cross the road?
    To get to "The Other Side"!

    What was the witch's favorite subject in school?
    Spelling!

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alexsiodhe, christopher north-keys, christopher alex north-keys