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[collected 2002-03-26] (from Dawn)

Top 12 things likely to be overheard from a Klingon Programmer

12) "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"

11) "This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I
     am to do battle with this code!"

10) "You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you have read it in the
     original Klingon."

 9) "Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your

 8) "What is this talk of 'release'?  Klingons do not make software
    'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and
     quality assurance people in it's wake."

 7) "Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have
    'arguments' -  and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."

 6) "Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the

 5) "I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth
     contest.  They will not concern us again."

 4) "A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!"

 3) "By filing this problem report you have challenged the honor of my
     family. Prepare to die!"

 2) "You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you

 1) "Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship
     it and let them flee like the dogs they are!"

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