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From: "Sarah W. Herbst" <>
To: chat tkg
Subject: shipwrecked engineer (fwd)
Message-ID: <>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII

There was this male engineer, on a cruise ship in the Caribbean
for  the first time.  It was wonderful, the experience of his
life.  He was  being waited on hand an foot.  But, it did not
last.  A Hurricane came up unexpectedly.  The ship went down
almost instantly.

The man found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the shore of
an island. There was nothing else anywhere to be seen.  No person,
no supplies, nothing.  The man looked around.  There were some
bananas and coconuts, but that was it.  He was desperate, and
forlorn, but decided to make the best of it. So for the next four
months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice and mostly looked to
the sea mightily for a ship to come to his rescue.

One day, as he was lying on the beech stroking his beard and
looking  for a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of his
eye.  Could it be true, was it a ship?  No, from around the corner
of the island came this rowboat. In it was the most gorgeous woman
he had ever seen, or at least seen in 4 months.  She was tall,
tanned, and her blond hair flowing in the sea breeze gave her an
almost ethereal quality.  She spotted him also as he was waving and
yelling and screaming to get her attention.  She rowed her boat
towards him.

In disbelief, he asked, "Where did you come from?  How did you get

She said, "I rowed from the other side of the island.  I landed
on this island when my cruise ship sank"

"Amazing", he said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived.  How
many of you are there?  Where, did you get the rowboat?  You must
have been really lucky to have a rowboat wash-up with you?"

"It is only me", she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up,
nothing did."

"Well then", said the man, "how did you get the rowboat?"
I made the rowboat out of raw material that I found on the
island, replied  the woman.  The oars were whittled from Gum tree
branches,  I wove the bottom from Palm branches, and the sides
and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree".

"But, but, asked the man, what about tools and hardware, how did
you do that?"

"Oh, no problem, replied the woman, on the south side of the
island there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed.

I found that If I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln,
it melted into forgeable ductile iron.  I used that for tools,
and used the tools to make the hardware.  But, enough of that,
she said.  Where do you live?"

At last the man was forced to confess that he had been
sleeping on the beach.

"Well, let's row over to my place, she said."  So they both got
into the rowboat and left for her side of island.

The woman easily rowed them around to a wharf that led to the
approach to her place.  She tied up the rowboat with a beautifully
woven hemp rope. They walked up a stone walk and around a Palm
tree, there stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.

"It's not much, she said, but I call it home.  Sit down please,
would you like to have a drink?"
"No, said  the man, one more coconut juice and I will puke."

"It won't be coconut juice, the woman replied, I have a still,
how about a Pina Colada?  Trying to hide his continued
amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to

After a while, and they had exchanged their stories, the woman
asked, "Tell me, have you always had a beard?"

"No", the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life, and
even on the cruise ship".

"Well if you would like to shave, there is a man's razor upstairs
in the cabinet in the bathroom." So, the man, no longer
questioning anything, went upstairs to the bath  room. There in
the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle, two shells honed
to a hollow ground edge were fastened on to its end inside of a
swivel mechanism.  The man shaved, showered and went back down

"You look great, said the woman, I think I will go up and slip
into something more comfortable."  So she did.

And, the man continued to sip his Pina Colada.  After a short
time,  the woman returned wearing fig leafs strategically
positioned and smelling faintly of gardenia.

"Tell me, she asked, we have both been out here for a very long
time with no companionship.  You know what I mean.  Have you been
lonely, is there anything that you really miss?  Something that
all men and woman need. Something that it would be really nice to
have right now."

"Yes there is, the man replied, as he moved closer to the woman
while fixing a winsome gaze upon her,  "Tell me ... Do you
happen to have an Internet connection?"

Jonathan Abbey				              jonabbey  arlut.utexas.edu
Applied Research Laboratories                 The University of Texas at Austin
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