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The Unofficial Smiley Dictionary

:-)   Your basic smilie. This smilie is used to inflect a sarcastic or
      joking statement since we can't hear voice inflection over Unix.
;-)   Winky smilie. User just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark.
      More of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smilie.
:-(   Frowning smilie. User did not like that last statement or is upset
      or depressed about something.
:-I   Indifferent smilie. Better than a Frowning smilie but not quite as
      good as a happy smilie
:->   User just made a really biting sarcastic remark. Worse than a :-).
>:->  User just made a really devilish remark.
>;->  Winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark was just made.

Those are the basic ones...Here are some somewhat less common ones:

Changing the mouth:
:-[     A vampire.
:-E     Buck-toothed vampire.
:-F     Buck-toothed vampire with one tooth missing.
:-7     Just made a wry statement.
:-*     Just ate something sour.
:-@     Screaming.
:-#     Wears braces.
:-&     Tongue-tied.
:-Q     Smoking.
:-?     Smoking a pipe.
:-P     Sticking out tongue.
:-S     Just made an incoherent statement.
:-D     Laughing out loud.
:-X     Lips are sealed.
:-C     Really bummed.
:-/     Skeptical.
:-o     Uh-oh.
:-9     Licking his/her lips.
:-0     No yelling! (quiet hours in the dorm) - also an orator.
:-`     Spitting (tobacco).
:-1     Normal.
:-!     Normal.
:-$     Mouth wired shut.
:-%     Banker.
:-q     Trying to touch tongue to nose.
:-a     Same as above on other side.
:-e     Disappointed.
:-t     Cross.
:-i     Semi-smiley.
:-]     Blockhead.
:-[     Unsmiley blockhead.
:-}     Chapped lips, or bearded.
:-{     Indifferent with moustache.
:-j     Left smiley.
:-d     Left smiley razzing reader.
:-k     Beats me.
:-\     Undecided.
:-|     Have a day.
:-<     Real sad.
:-x     Lips are sealed.
:-c     Bummed out.
:-v     Talking head.
:-b     Stincking out tongue.

Changing the nose:
:*)     Drunk.
:^)     Has a broken nose.
:v)     Broken nose in the other direction.
:_)     Nose is sliding off his/her face.
:<)     From an Ivy League school.
:=)     Two noses.
:o)     Clown.
:u)     Funny looking nose (left).
:n)     Funny looking nose (right).

Changing the eyes:
%-)     Staring at the screen for 15 hours straight.
8-)     Wearing sunglasses.
B-)     Wearing glasses (could be horn-rims).
O-)     Megaton, cyclops, of wearing a diving mask.
.-)     One-eyed.
,-)     Winking, one-eyed.
g-)     Ponce-nez glasses.

Changing more than one character:
|-I     Sleeping.
|-O     Yawning.
%-6     Brain dead.
|^o     Snoring.
:,(     Crying, but without a nose.
8-|     Suspenseful.

Adding extra characters:
::-)    Wears glasses (four eyes).
B:-)    Glasses on top of head.
8:-)    Little girl.
:-)-8   Big girl.
:-{)    Has moustache.
:-#)    Bushy moustache.
{:-)    Wears a toupee.
}:-)    Toupee in an updraft.
:-)~    Drooling.
:-~)    Has a cold.
:'-)    So happy, he/she is crying.
=:-)    Hosehead.
-:-)    Punk rocker.
+-:-)   The Pope.
`:-)    Shaved off one eyebrow.
,:-)    Shaved off the other eyebrow.
O :-)   Angel.
C=:-)   Chef.
*<:-)   Wearing a Santa Claus hat.
E-:-)   Ham radio operator.
8 :-)   Wizard.
@:-)    Wearing a turban.
[:-)    Listening to a walkman.
:-))    Double chin.
>:-)    Devil.
(:-)    Big smile.
+:-)    Priest.
:-)X    Wearing a bow tie.

(-:     Left handed.
[:]     Robot.
:-{}    Wearing lipstick.
:'-(    Crying.
<|-)    Chinese.
<|-(    Chinese, but doesn't like these kind of jokes.
-:-(    Real punk rockers don't smile.
@=      Pro-nuclear war.
(8-o    Mr. Bill. (From original Saturday Night Live)
*:o)    Bozo the Clown.
3:]     Pet smile.
3:[     Mean pet smile.
d8=     Beaver with goggles and hard hat.
(:I     Egghead.
<:-I    Dunce.
K:P     Kid with propeller beanie.
:-:     Mutant.
X-(     Dead.
[]      Hugs.
~~:-(   Getting flamed.
O |-)   Religious.
8 :-I   Unix wizard.
>:-I    Trekkie.
3:o[    Pet clown.
8       Infinity.

:)      Standard.
:]      Gleep.
:@      Yelling.
:D      Laughing.
:I      Thinking.
:(      Sad.
:[      Really bummed.
:O      Talking loudly.
:Q      Smoking.
:*      Kissing.
|I      Sleeping.
|O      Yawning.
:P      Sticking out tongue.
=)      Have a nice day.


Many characteristics of different smileys to create Mega-smileys:

C=}>;*{))       A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft,
                          a mustache, and a double chin

}:^#})          Updrafted bushy-mustached pointy nosed smiley with
                        a double-chin

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Earth: too weird to destroy.
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alexsiodhe, christopher north-keys, christopher alex north-keys