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From barr@pop.psu.edu Fri Nov 20 15:28:09 1992
Path: ai-lab!snorkelwacker.mit.edu!tamsun.tamu.edu!bcm!cs.utexas.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!uunet.ca!xenitec!looking!funny-request
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 92 12:20:06 EST
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: "Hotel California" revisited
From: barr@pop.psu.edu (David Barr)
Keywords: topical, chuckle, original
Approved: funny@clarinet.com
Lines: 91

This is original, written in light of the AT&T-BSDI lawsuit, and the
recent trend with Sun towards System V and away from Good Ol' BSD.

    "Berkeley California"

(Sung to the tune "Hotel California" by the Eagles)

 In a dark dim machine room
 Cool A/C in my hair
 Warm smell of silicon
 Rising up through the air
 Up ahead in the distance
 I saw a Solarian(tm) light
 My kernel grew heavy, and my disk grew slim
 I had to halt(8) for the night
 The backup spun in the tape drive
 I heard a terminal bell
 And I was thinking to myself
 This could be BSD or USL
 Then they started a lawsuit
 And they showed me the way
 There were salesmen down the corridor
 I thought I heard them say

 Welcome to Berkeley California
 Such a lovely place
 Such a lovely place (backgrounded)
 Such a lovely trace(1)
 Plenty of jobs at Berkeley California
 Any time of year
 Any time of year (backgrounded)
 You can find one here
 You can find one here

 Their code was definately twisted
 But they've got the stock market trends
 They've got a lot of pretty, pretty lawyers
 That they call friends
 How they dance in the courtroom
 See BSDI sweat
 Some sue to remember
 Some sue to forget
 So I called up Kernighan
 Please bring me ctime(3)
 He said
 We haven't had that tm_year since 1969
 And still those functions are calling from far away
 Wake up Jobs in the middle of the night
 Just to hear them say

 Welcome to Berkeley California
 Such a lovely Place
 Such a lovely Place (backgrounded)
 Such a lovely trace(1)
 They're livin' it up suing Berkeley California
 What a nice surprise
 What a nice surprise (backgrounded)
 Bring your alibies

 Windows NT a dreaming
 Pink OS on ice
 And they said
 We are all just prisoners here
 Of a marketing device
 And in the judges's chambers
 They gathered for the feast
 They diff(1)'d the source code listings
 But they can't kill -9 the beast
 Last thing I remember
 I was restore(8)'ing | more(1)
 I had to find the soft link back to the path I was before
 sleep(3) said the pagedaemon
 We are programmed to recv(2)
 You can swap out any time you like
 But you can never leave(1)

 [ substitute whirring of disk and tape drives for guitar solo ]

Written by David Barr 
and Ken Hornstein 
and a little help from Greg Nagy 

and thanks to the lyrics archive at cs.uwp.edu

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