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A guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech:   "What's the problems?"
LUser:  "There is smoke coming out of the power supply."
Tech:   "You'll need a new power supply."
LUser:  "No I don't! I just need to change the startup files."
Tech:   "Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace
LUser:  "No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change
         the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is
         for you to tell me the command."

10 minutes later, the LUser is still adamant that they are
right. The Tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech:   "Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this,
         but here is an undocumented DOS command that will fix
         the problem."
LUser:  "I knew it!"
Tech:   "Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the
         CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes."

10 minutes later.

LUser:  "It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking."
Tech:   "Well, what version of DOS are you using?"
LUser:  "MS-DOS 6.22."
Tech:   "That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't
         come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a
         patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it

1 hour later.

LUser:  "I need a new power supply."
Tech:   "How did you come to that conclusion?"
LUser:  "Well, I rang Microsoft and told him all about what you
         said, and he started asking questions about the make of
         power supply."
Tech:    "Then what did he say?"
LUser:   "He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with

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