Have an Extra-Specially Fun Time At Walmart!
1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they don't realize it.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute
intervals throughout the day.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to
the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official
tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see
what happens.
5. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them
all off and turn the volumes to "10."
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift
wrap.
7. Put M&M's on layaway.
8. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others
you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed
and Bath.
10. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and
ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
11. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a
mirror while you pick your nose.
12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full
scale battlefield with GI Joe's vs. the X-Men.
13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
14. While handling guns in the hunting department,
suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the
antidepressants are.
15. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the
restrooms.
16. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
"Mission Impossible."
17. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
18. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look
with various funnels.
19. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse
through, say things like "pick me! Pick me!!"
20. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker,
assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those
voices again!"
21. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink;
explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can
put a little umbrella in it.
22. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey,
we're out of toilet paper in here!"
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