2003-06-10

JOYFUL JUNE -- THE MARRYING MONTH

By Pam North

June is the traditional month for weddings, the custom deriving from
early Roman days when couples married in that month to pay homage to
Juno, the goddess of women, love and marriage.  Seeking her favor was
thought to make marriages last and to ease childbirth.

Many of the traditions surrounding weddings are steeped in superstition
and ancient beliefs.  Wedding rings go back in history to the early
Egyptians, Romans and Greeks, who all exchanged rings during their
nuptial ceremonies.  The unending circle of the ring symbolized the
ideal love which flowed from one person to the other forever in
marriage.  Although the wedding ring has always been worn on the left
hand, originally it was worn on the thumb; it was later moved to the
index finger, then to the middle finger, and finally to the third
finger, which was believed to lead straight to the heart via a single
nerve.

Even the bride's attire and accessories have ancient significance.
White signified the purity of her maidenhood, and this tradition was
started by the rich in the 16th century.  Queen Victoria gave the custom
a boost when she chose to marry in white instead of silver, the
traditional color of royal brides.  Before the white dress, a bride
usually wore her best dress, and its color was merely her preference,
although some colors had significance and would be chosen or rejected
accordingly.   It was thought to be unlucky for the bride to make her
own dress. The bridal veil has traditionally been a form of protection,
from disguising the bride to outwit malevolent spirits and ward off  the
"evil eye" and harmful vibrations from jealous spinsters, to shielding
the groom, his family and the wedding guests from any psychic powers the
bride herself might possess.  The veil became popular in Great Britiain
in the 1800s, and it generally is associated with modesty and
chastity.The bride's garter was originally an item (thought to bring
good luck) over which the groomsmen fought each other to possess.  The
bouquet, its flowers often chosen on the basis of their symbolic
meanings and thrown backwards by the bride to her bridesmaids, was
intended by the Catholic Church to replace the rowdy garter custom, but
instead both traditions remain in practice today.  The groom often
chooses a similar flower occurring in the bride's bouquet for his
buttonhole, as a vestige of the time when a knight would wear his lady's
colors to display his love.  Another tradition comes from the rhyme from
Victorian times (but the customs referred to in it are much older),
"Something old/ Something new/Something borrowed/Something blue/And a
silver sixpence in her shoe."  Something old was an item representing
the couples' friends, who hopefully would remain close during the
marriage (traditionally this was an old garter which was given to the
bride by a happily-married woman, in the hope that her happiness in
marriage would be passed on to the new bride).  Something new was an
object symbolizing the newlyweds' happy and prosperous future.
Something borrowed was a much-valued keepsake lent by the bride's
family, and the bride was required to return it to them to ensure good
luck.  Something blue was a derivative of the custom in ancient Israel
of the bride wearing a ribbon of this color in her hair to represent
fidelity.  Placing a silver sixpence (now replaced today by a penny) in
the bride's shoe was to ensure wealth in the couples' married life.

Decorating the wedding car is a tradition that goes back to medieval
France, but originally the custom was the banging on pots and kettles as
a public show of derision to an unpopular couple; it was called a
"charivari," meaning a "rough serenade."
The custom evolved into the more amiable (although still
irritating)American version, called a "shivaree," in which friends
jokingly harassed a newly-wedded couple by peeking in their windows and
making noise, so that the newlyweds were circumvented from consummating
their marriage.  When newlyweds began leaving the weddings by
automobile, their cars became the targets instead, strung with empty
cans, streamers and other articles to signify lighthearted mischief.

The wedding cake is derived from a time long ago when guests originally
gave "bride-cakes" to a just-married woman to encourage fertility.
Early Romans shared a cake during the ceremony itself, but it was a
simple confection made from wheat flour, salt and water. Throwing rice
or confetti also comes from a fertility-focused tradition in which wheat
was tossed at the bride in the hope that she would produce many
children, just as the wheat produced many loaves of bread.  When today's
couple makes the first cut in the cake together, it symbolizes their
shared future.

The reception speech has its roots in pre-Christian Rome, when newlyweds
hired a jocular person to tell off-color stories and jokes during the
after-ceremony celebration, in the belief that unclean thoughts in the
minds of the guests distracted the attention of evil spirits from the
newly-married couple, thereby helping to protect them from evil.

Hundreds of years ago in Europe, newlyweds were expected to drink honey
(believed to be an aphrodisiac) during one full cycle of the moon
(approximately a month).  This tradition became known as the honeymoon.
Another version of the
origination of the honeymoon has it that the man captured his bride, and
they remained in hiding from the bride's parents for one full moon
before marrying, during which time they drank honey wine.

The wedding kiss at the close of the ceremony is another replacement
custom , one far more suitable than the original requirement that
several witnesses observe the marriage consummation in the couple's
bedchamber, to ensure that it actually had taken place.

The Romans thought that good and evil spirits hung around the entrance
of a home, and if one walked into the house left foot first, the evil
spirits also could enter.  Since the bride was assumed to be in a highly
emotional state and could be careless as to which foot went first into
the domicile, the groom, to be on the safe side, simply picked her up
and carried her over the threshold.

Saturday was originally thought to be an unlucky day for a wedding, but
today's couples, faced with demanding work schedules in the lives of
themselves and their friends and relatives, often choose it as the day
for their marriage.

While attitudes, knowledge and morality have evolved with the changing
of times, it is surprising how humanity clings to many of the old
customs, especially when it has to do with love.  Whatever the
superstition or talisman might be, couples want luck and the favor of
the gods to be on their side when they unite their lives together.