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Subject: Irish Cream-raspberry-Pop Tart-Spam flavored coffee (fwd)
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Date: 	Fri, 12 May 1995 13:59:21 -0500
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Subject: Irish Cream-raspberry-Pop Tart-Spam flavored coffee

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Editor's Note: Discussions on the Usenet coffee newsgroups can often go
on for months with no consensus ever developing. Just about any issue,
from how to store coffee to how to brew it, will generate controversy as
proponents of all sides become entrenched in their positions. In the end,
coffee is a very personal, subjective beverage.

But Ken Blair demonstrates what you can learn in the groups if you pay
close attention.

From: (Ken Blair)
Subject: humor: how to brew great drip coffee
Date: 19 Dec 1994 15:54 CST

An ALT.COFFEE guide to the proper method of brewing great drip coffee at
home. Revision 4.03, 12/19/94. Prepared by Ken Blair
(blairiii_r@dt3.dt.uh.edu), based on months of ALT.COFFEE postings.

After reading ALT.COFFEE for many months, it is clear that there is
proper, definite, scientific, and methodical procedure to make the best
drip coffee.  It is also clear that there are numerous misconceptions
about the proper way to go about it. This text is a summary of the right
way to brew drip coffee at home, according to the cyberspace coffee gurus

First, start with a good quality, medium to expensive drip coffee maker.
A cheap, low quality, or even a cheap high quality unit can also be used.
Just be sure that it's a coffee maker. It is important to ensure that the
unit has been thoroughly cleaned after each use, because residue from
previous coffee brewing could distort the rich and robust flavor of the
coffee you are about to brew. If you're in a hurry, or don't care anyhow,
this step really doesn't matter. Just make sure you get the old coffee
grounds out of the coffee maker before you brew a new pot. Poor college
students may want to actually re-use old grounds, to avoid purchasing new
coffee. If should be noted, however, that re-using grounds more than 10
times could result in an overly bitter brew which might not be to your
personal liking.

Second, it is essential to select the proper filter for your coffee maker.
It is generally acknowledged that a metal type filter is far superior to
any other types available, because this type of filter will not impart
any strange flavors into your coffee. These metal types are often gold
colored, but silver colored ones can be found too. It is also generally
acknowledged that using a paper filter yields a superior pot of coffee,
because metal filters tend to let sediment pass into the coffee. Above
all, it is most important to remember make sure you're actually using a
filter, or else you might end up with a mug full of coffee grounds and
dark colored water.

The absolute most important aspect of brewing great coffee is proper
coffee bean selection. It is imperative that you buy only whole, un-ground
beans.  Buy only enough beans to brew one cup at a time, otherwise you
aren't using the freshest beans possible. Even if this means making 6
trips to your local roaster to buy beans to brew a 6 cup pot, you will be
assured that you have brewed absolutely the best coffee possible. For some
people who don't have time to be buying coffee beans 6 or 12 times a day,
it's also just as good to buy a 7 or 8 year supply ahead of time, and
store the beans properly. See the section on bean storage, below.

This brings us to the aspect of where to get your beans. The only place
to purchase your beans is at a local roaster. By doing this, you'll be
assured that the beans are still warm when you take them home. When
possible, buy beans that have just been roasted, otherwise you are wasting
your time. If this is not possible, just buy some Folgers at the nearest
convienence store, and the time you have saved will be worth it. If you're
not able to grind your beans at home, then have them ground for you at
the store, and make sure that residue from hundreds of other types of
beans is mixed into your coffee as it goes through the store's grinder.
This will ensure that you get a totally unique blend of flavors, and your
friends will be truly impressed with your gourmet coffee.

To brew the best coffee, it is imperative that you choose your coffee
beans based on their country of origin. You should experiment and try
several different varietal beans until you find the ones you like. To brew
the best coffee, it is imperative that you buy flavored beans such as
hazelnut-mocha-cherry-lime or Irish Cream-raspberry-Pop Tart-Spam
flavored.  If you don't buy flavored beans, you're wasting your time, and
you're not a true coffee pro. Once again, if you don't have time to select
good quality, fresh flavored coffee, you must select a good canned, mass
produced coffee from the local grocery store. Doing this is the only way
to make the best coffee. In summary, it is important to remember that
you're using coffee beans, and not pinto beans. Use of pinto beans could
result in an overly bitter brew, that might not be suitable to your
personal taste.

For those of you who are interested in grinding your beans at home, there
are generally two different types of grinders: burr and blade. Generally,
it is accepted that the both of these grinders begin with "b", and both
grind coffee. If is entirely a matter of personal taste as to which one
to use, because both types are so much alike.

The topic of coffee bean storage is another highly debated topic, but if
you look at the hard, factual evidence, the answer is clear. Many people
claim that freezing your coffee is the best solution to storage. Many
people claim that coffee should not be frozen. Other people claim that
air-tight containers are the way to go. Well, after extensive
scientific-research-studies-experiments, it has been determined that
freezing, refrigerating, room temperature, and air-tight container are
all ways to store coffee. Above all, it is essential to make sure that
you are storing your coffee beans.

Finally, you must make sure that you are using proper a proper amount of
water and coffee when brewing. While it is generally accepted that one
must use water when brewing coffee, many people don't use the exact
amount. To make drip coffee, the proper method is to use exactly one
standard coffee scoop measure (between 1/2 tablespoon to 4 tablespoons)
to each one exact standard coffee maker cup of water (3 ounces to 8
ounces). This is the only exact, correct, and proper method, and may of
course be adjusted to your personal liking.

After your drip coffee has brewed, you might want to add milk or sugar.
Just as with coffee bean storage, this is a highly debated topic. Some
people insist that adding milk or sugar covers up the robust aroma of the
coffee, while others insist that it is necessary to cover up the robust
aroma of the coffee because it is undesirable. If you do choose to add
milk, remember that there are several options such as skim, 1/2 percent,
2 percent, 4 percent, half and half, and cream. Be sure to make the proper
choice. Above all, when determining to add milk or sugar to your cup,
remember that you could be adding milk or sugar.

If you plan not to serve the entire pot of coffee right after it has
brewed, you must consider the options of storage of the brewed coffee and
how to keep it hot. While it is generally accepted that storage in a
vacuum type thermos or carafe is acceptable, it is also generally accepted
that microwave ovens are capable of heating up cold coffee.
Environmentalists will want to use a solar heating method by placing the
pot of coffee in the sun.

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