[moon] home
IPv4

Erlkönig: microsloshed-walls.shtml

parent
[parent webpage]

server
[webserver base]

search
[search erlkonig webpages]

trust
[import certificates]


homes
[talisman]
[zoion]
From: tlode@isis.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: From the Unnatural Enquirer:  Microsloshed Walls
Date: 25 Nov 90 11:30:03 GMT

      Microsloshed Corporation of Smoke'em, Washington introduces the
most fantabulous operating system overlay ever, a high-performance GUI
(Generally Useless Interface) that will transform your measly old
command-line driven PC into a state-of-the-art multitasking system!
 
                 M I C R O S L O S H E D   W A L L S
 
   * Microsloshed Walls frees you from the worries of incompatible
     hardware--in fact, if any part of your computer is in the tiniest
     respect different from an original IBM PC, Microsloshed Walls will
     pretend it doesn't exist and lock up when you try to install the
     drivers--automatically!
 
   * Complicated and cumbersome command-line functions have been
     replaced by simple, intuitive mouse-driven commands without
     confusing options or user-burdening functionality.
 
   * Microsloshed Walls version 3.0 is a major step forward--boldly
     abandoning the restraints of compatibility with either DOS or
     Walls 2.9 applications while not making you waste your time
     learning new features or capabilities.
 
   * Conventional DOS programs are limited to a mere 640K of memory;
     Microsloshed Walls will use up every last byte of memory on your
     computer and more!
 
   * Microsloshed Walls provides your programs with a uniform user
     interface so simple and easy to use that all your applications
     will look and act exactly the same.  Whether you're using a
     telecommunications package or a compiler, you'll be completely
     unable to tell them apart!
 
   * Several of the functions of the Microsloshed applications you've
     grown to love under DOS will still work some of the time under
     Walls and a variety of Microsloshed products are very nearly
     supported by Microsloshed Walls including Expell, QuirkC,
     QuirkBASIC, QuirkPascal, and QuirkRATFOR.
 
   * The popular word processing program Microsloshed Wart has been
     fully updated and modified just for Walls, making it totally
     unlike Microsloshed Wart while still retaining the same name.
 
   * Microsloshed Walls includes its own special version of QEMMMM
     (Quirky Extraneous Massive Memory Multi-Mangler) converting your
     system's extraneous memory into impacted memory which can be more
     efficiently wasted by Walls.
 
      We guarantee that, when you install Microsloshed Walls on your
computer, you'll kiss your old DOS prompt goodbye.  In fact, after
just one session with Microsloshed Walls, you may never use any of
your old programs again.
 
     Microsloshed.  Software that makes your computer obsolete.
 
 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Unnatural Enquirer, (C) 1990 by Trygve Lode   (tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu)
May be reproduced and distributed freely in unmodified form on a
noncommercial basis provided this notice remains intact.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
disencrypt lang [de jp fr] diff backlinks (sec) validate printable
Klein bottle for rent; inquire within.
[ Your browser's CSS support is broken. Upgrade! ]
alexsiodhe, christopher north-keys, christopher alex north-keys