[collected 2001-12-13 09:29:16 CST (Dec Thu) 1008257356]
Virus Warning
If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not
open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase
everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks
within 20 feet of your computer.
It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your Credit cards. It reprograms your
ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field
harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.
It will program your phone auto-dial to call only 900 numbers. This virus
will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH
WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.
It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will
leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting
company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine,
all the while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and
billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is
only fun until someone loses an eye. It will rewrite your backup files,
changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating
undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key
sentences.
If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will
leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously
close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from
your mattresses and pillows, It will also refill your skim milk with whole
milk.
***** WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN *******
And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds you'll fart so hard
that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you,
sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you. Send to everyone
--eof
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