>Subject: FIRST ELEMENT - MSDS (fwd)
>
>---------- Forwarded message ----------
>
> Hazardous Materials Information System
>
> Material Safety Data Sheet
>
> Woman - A Chemical analysis
>
> Element: WOMAN
> Symbol: WO
> Discoverer: Adam
> Atomic Mass: Accepted as 115 lbs., but known to vary from
> 98 to 550 lbs.
> Occurrence: Copious quantities found in urban areas and
> malls.
>
> Physical Properties:
>
> 1. Surface is usually covered with a painted film.
> 2. Boils at nothing. Freezes without reason.
> 3. Melts if given special treatment.
> 4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
> 5. Found in various stages ranging from virgin metal to
> common ore.
> 6. Yields to pressure applied to correct points.
>
> Chemical Properties:
>
> 1. Has a great affinity for GOLD, SILVER, PLATINUM and
> precious stones.
> 2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
> 3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no
> known reason.
> 4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by
> saturation in alcohol.
> 5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
>
> Common Uses:
>
> 1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
> 2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
>
> Tests:
>
> 1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the
> natural state.
> 2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
>
> Hazards:
>
> 1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
> 2. Illegal to possess more than one.
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