November 17, 1997
The Top 15 Unforeseen Consequences of the "Millennium Bug"
15> IRS demands a hundred years of interest from stunned taxpayers.
14> "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" song gets stuck in infinite
loop.
13> At the stroke of midnight, Windows 99 turns back into DOS 1.0,
the Pentium V turns back into an 8088, and the Handsome User is left
holding a beautiful glass mouse.
12> Internet Movie Database now lists "1901: A Space Odyssey"
11> Residents of Indiana have to figure out if they're off by 999
years, 364 days and 23 hours, or 1000 years and one hour.
10> Bob Dole's age erroneously listed with only 2 digits.
9> Mel Brooks's "2000 year old man" skit stops being funny....
Oops, too late.
8> Sales of Coca Cola jumps drastically after original
cocaine-laden formula becomes legal again.
7> Software engineers point out that since computers think it's
almost 1900, we technically have to "party like it's 1899," which,
frankly, doesn't seem like much fun.
6> Microsoft declares the year 1900 to be the new standard of the
"Gatesian" calendar.
5> Jesus shows up late for His second coming, blames it on COBOL
programmers.
4> Computers temporarily fooled into thinking Strom Thurmond is
only 103.
3> First Top 5 List of the year? "Reasons No One Would Ever
Assassinate President McKinley"
2> Using a computerized adoption service, Michael Jackson
mistakenly takes home some octogenarians.
and the Number 1 Unforeseen Consequence of the "Millennium Bug"...
1> Unexpected demand for COBOL programmers results in severe
understaffing of fast-food restaurants.
[ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc. ]
[ The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com ]
[ To forward or repost, please include this section. ]
Ruminations & Ponderances
Just because something's toxic
doesn't mean it's not tasty.
(Thanks to Matthew J. Siske)
|