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[collected 2002-02-07]

7 degrees of blonde


A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2:00 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and
said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.  The
husband said, "Who was that?"  The wife said, "I don't know; some woman
wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."


Two blondes are walking down the street.  One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.  She opens it, looks in the mirror
and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."  The second blonde says, "Here,
let me see!"  So the first blonde hands her the compact.  The second one
looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"


A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys
a gun.  She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door
she finds him in the arms of a redhead.  Well, the blonde is really angry.
She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome
with grief.  She takes the gun and puts it to her head.  The boyfriend
yells, "No, honey, don't do it."  The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're


A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.  She proudly
says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."  A friend says, "OK, what's
the capital of Wisconsin?"  The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy:  W."


What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"


A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.  Miraculously, she
managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying
fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.  "My God!" the trooper
exclaimed "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an
elephant.  Are you OK ma'am?"

"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.  "Well, how in the world
did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began.  "I was driving
along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me.
So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree!  I swerved to the
left and there was ANOTHER tree!  I swerved to the right and there was
another tree!  I swerved to the left and there was...."

"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this
road for 30 miles.  That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."


Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked
and burglarized.  She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit
patrolling nearby was the first to respond.  As the K-9 officer approached
the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,
shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my
possessions stolen.  I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!"

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Cogito ergo spud (I think therefore I yam).
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