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Funny Bumper Stickers

* Horn broken. Watch for finger.
* Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot. 
* All generalizations are false.
* Cover me.  I'm changing lanes.
* I brake for no apparent reason.
* Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal. 
* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
* Lottery:  A tax on people who are bad at math.
* It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
* Auntie Em,  Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog.  Dorothy. 
* Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
* Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. 
* I love cats...they taste just like chicken.
* Out of my mind.  Back in five minutes.
* Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons. 
* Born free...Taxed to death.
* The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. 
* Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot. 
* Rehab is for quitters.
* I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
* Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep. 
* Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
* When you do a good deed, get a receipt -- 
        in case heaven is like the IRS....
* Sorry, I don't date outside my species. 
* No radio - Already stolen.
* Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. 
* Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges. 
* I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
* Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 
* OK, who stopped payment on my reality check? 
* Few women admit their age;  Fewer men act it.
* I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
* IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
* Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students. 
* It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
* According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist. 
* Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill. 
* Pride is what we have.  Vanity is what others have.
* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. 
* Reality?  Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from? 
* How can I miss you if you won't go away?
* Warning:  Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. 
* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
* We are born naked, wet, and hungry.  Then things get worse. 
* Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot. 
* Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
* Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
* Puritanism:  The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
* Consciousness:  That annoying time between naps.
* i souport publik edekashun.
* Be nice to your kids.  They'll choose your nursing home. 
* Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
* There are 3 kinds of people:  those who can count & those who can't.
* Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
* Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

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Cogito ergo spud (I think therefore I yam).
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