To: [REDACTED]@talisman.org
Subject: Chelsea's letter home
Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 14:26:18 -0600
Dear Mom and Dad:
It has been four months since I left for college. I have been remiss
in writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness. I will bring you
up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. Don't read
any further unless you are sitting down ... OK? Good.
I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the
concussion I got from jumping out of the window of my dormitory when
it caught fire, shortly after my arrival, are pretty well healed
now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost
normally and only get three headaches a day.
Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by
an attendant at a nearby gas station, and he was able to call the
Fire Department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the
hospital, and since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out
dorm, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with
him. It's really a basement room, but it is kind of cute. He is a
very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to
get married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but I'm sure it will
be before I start to show. Yes, Mom and Dad, I am pregnant. I know
how much you are looking forward to being grandparents, and I know
you will give the baby the same love and devotion and tender care you
gave me when I was a child.
The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has
some minor infection which prevents us from passing our premarital
blood tests, and I carelessly caught it from him. This will soon
clear up, thanks to my daily penicillin injections. I know you will
welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind, and although
not well educated, he is ambitious. Also, he is of a different race
and religion than ours, but I know, after all your years of teaching
me tolerance, that you won't mind the fact that he is somewhat darker
than we are. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family
background is good, too; I am told that his father is an important
gun bearer in his native African village. I guess that's it.
Now that I have brought you up to date, I want you to know ...There
was no dormitory fire, I did not have a skull fracture, I was not in
the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged, I do not have
syphilis and there is no man of another race in my life. However, I
am getting a "D" in History and an "F" in Science, and I wanted you
to see these marks in their proper perspective.
Your loving daughter,
Chelsea
P.S. Stanford is great...I love it, though I miss you both terribly...and
Socks, too!
P.P.S. Dad, please give my best to Monica & the others.