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From: David J Sherman 
Subject: Alternative Degree Distinctions (joke)

We are all accustomed to the usual degree distinctions such as Cum 
Laude, Magna Cum Laude, Summa Cum Laude.  But there are alternatives.  
The following were given to me by my father (on the occasion of my
Bachelor's degree); he claims to have seen them as an undergraduate in 
the late 40's.  Spelling errors are mine; translation errors are his.

		Alternative Degree Distinctions

  Dentium Cute			By the Skin of One's Teeth
  Alieno Capitae		By Impersonation
  Latitudine Capilla		By Hair's Breadth

  Examinatoribus Clementi Bus,
  Examinatorum Commis Eratione	By the Kindness of the Examiners

  Interventione Deii		By a Miracle
  Ocellis Compellentibus	By the Dint of a Pleading Eye
  Repetitione Candidatura	By Going Up Again and Again *
  Tutore Conixo			By the Strenuous Efforts of One's Advisor **
  Perperum Conlatus		Conferred in Error
  Quis Credat			Who Can Believe It?
  Quis Creditisset		Who Would Have Thought It? ***

my favorite:

  Universa Conternatione	To the Horrified Surprise of Everyone


  ??				By the Gift of a Rich Uncle

    * tedious but popular
   ** not uncommon but unreliable
  *** graduate students sometimes crystallize the previous 
        in the imperfect conditional

djs                     David J. Sherman        (david@piroska.uchicago.edu)
                        University of Chicago Department of Computer Science
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Cogito ergo spud (I think therefore I yam).
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