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Two men were seriously injured today, during what authorities say is a
deviate, dangerous, and highly illegal sexual practice. Vito Bustone sustained
second-degree burns to his face and scalp while Kiki Rodriguez, his partner,
suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal
tract.

The act that caused so much agony is known in the gay community as "felching".
This involves the insertion of a cardboard tube into the rectum followed by
the introduction of a rodent (usually a Gerbil), which is forced up the tube
into the lower intestine. Problems started when Bustone could not retrieve the
Gerbil from Rodriguez's anus. Rodriguez had orgasmed and demanded the removal
of the rodent. Bustone however could not see up the tube. To help him see,
he lit a match lighting intestinal gas tapped in the tube. The flame shot
up the tube lighting the the fur of the Gerbil, and detonating a larger pocket
of Gas behind the hapless animal.

The ensuing explosion shot the flaming Gerbil down the pipeline into Bustone's
face causing the burns. Sheriff Hugo Root told the Reporters "It serves the
faggots right".
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Cogito ergo spud (I think therefore I yam).
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alexsiodhe, christopher north-keys, christopher alex north-keys