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So, it seems that some friars were behind on their belfry payments, so
they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds.  Since everyone
liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town
thought the competition was unfair.  He asked the good fathers to close
down, but they would not.  He went back and begged the friars to close.
They ignored him.  He asked his mother to go and ask the friars to get
out of business.  They ignored her too.  So, the rival florist hired Hugh
MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them
to close.  Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd
be back if they didn't close up shop.  Terrified, they did so.  Thereby
proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

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Cogito ergo spud (I think therefore I yam).
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