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Subject: Boyfriend to Husband                                
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software;
severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that
operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.  No mention of this phenomenon was
included in the product brochure.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as
DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new,
undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4
and ClutterEverywhere 4.5.  Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably
crashes the system.  Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1
or HouseCleaning 2.6.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this is all purpose
utility is of limited effectiveness.  Can you help, please!!!!

Dear Jane:
This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly due
to a primary misconception.  Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to
Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT

However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator
to run as few applications as possible.  Further, you cannot purge Husband
1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do
this.  Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0
to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the
system, once installed.  Any new program files can only be instaled once
per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory.  Error messages are
common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.  In desperation to play some of
their "old time" favorite applications, or to get new applications to work,
some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However,
these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband1.0.

Look in your manual under "Warnings:  Divorce/Child Support".  You will
notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with
HeartBreak 1.3.  I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the
quirks of this strange and illogical system.

Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the
entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs].  This is a
wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company
as an integral part of the operating system.  Husband 1.0 must assume ALL
responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause.  To
activate this great feature enter the command "C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME".
Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command.
Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and
Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.


Avoid excessive use of this feature.  Overuse can create additional and
more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\ I APOLOGIZE
command before the system will return to normal operations.  overuse can
also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, to
Beer 6.0. Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create
FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to delete.
Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip!

Just remember!  The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all
GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all
the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran.  Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it
does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

Consider buying additional software to improve performance.  I personally
recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1.  Used in
conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running
smoothly.  After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and
you will find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1,
Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.

A final word of caution!

Do NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0.  This is not a
supported application, and will cause selective shutdown of the operating
system.  Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until
MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.

I hope these notes have helped.  Thank you for choosing to install Husband
1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years.
We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!
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