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You know you've owned a Jaguar too long when...

You always park downhill.

The guy at the parts house is listed as a dependent on your
income tax form.

You get in a car and are surprised when all of the
instruments work.

You tell your wife that you were out until 3AM because the
car broke down ... and she believes you.

The family is no longer upset in having to share the dinner
table with a bunch of SU parts.

You don't trust anyone named Lucas.

When your generator dies, you just pull another out of your
Lucas pile of bits.

You wash your hands before working in the engine compartment.

You'd rather give the family pit bull a bath than tune your
SU carburetors again.

You allow four hours for a trip, 3 for repairs and 1 for

You can unstick a jammed starter in the dark, in the rain,
in 5 minutes and don't think it's a big deal.

There's no oil on the garage floor so you know the car's
completely empty.

Your car makes a funny sound and you immediately know
what's wrong, how much it will cost, and what tools you
will need to repair it.

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Cogito ergo spud (I think therefore I yam).
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