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Erlkönig: Review: Juvenile felis catus

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[collected 2003-08-09]

See full article at http://www.dansdata.com/kitten.htm

Kitten Puppy Baby New Video Card
Cute Yes Yes Arguably No
Furry Yes
(some exceptions)
Yes No No
(assuming case dust filters are effective)
Buries own dung Yes No No N/A
Talks back No No Eventually No
Purrs Yes No No No
(unless cooling fan bearings are failing)
Elegant Yes No No Arguably
Coordinated Yes No No N/A
Multiple rendering pipelines No No No Yes
Chases tail Yes Yes No
(some exceptions)
Can be shut up in kitchen overnight Yes Yes Yes, until someone finds out Sure, if you like
Smells bad No Sometimes Often No
Climbs screen doors Yes No No No
Likes to eat bugs Yes Yes Yes No
Number of favourable scores: 11 6 2 3

Clearly, and despite competing opinions, a kitten is substantially preferable to a puppy. It's also, incidentally, obvious that a new video card is 1.5 times as desirable as a baby.

In their favour, babies can be made at home and offer superior resale value.

The kitten, however, is obviously the better option.

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