> This is an actual job application someone submitted at a
> McDonald's fast-food establishment ... and they hired him!
> As what?
>
> 1. NAME: Greg Bulmash
>
> 2. DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously,
> whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I
> wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
>
> 3. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a
> Michael Ovitz-style severance package. If that's not possible,
> make an offer and we can haggle.
>
> 4. EDUCATION: Yes.
>
> 5. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
>
> 6. SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
>
> 7. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of
> stolen pens and Post-it Notes.
>
> 8. REASON FOR LEAVING: It stank.
>
> 9. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
>
> 10. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday,
> and Thursday.
>
> 11. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one,
> would I be here?
>
> 12. DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT
> YOU FROM LIFTING (UP TO 50 LBS)?: Of what?
>
> 13. DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate
> question here would be, "Do you have a car that runs?"
>
> 14. HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
> I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse
> Sweepstakes.
>
> 15. DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.
>
> 16. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living
> in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks
> I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like
> to be doing that now.
>
> 17. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE
> BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
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