[collected prior to 1997-05-09]
>Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots
>and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks" are problem listings
>that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews.
>
>Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
>Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."
>
>Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
>Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."
>
>Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
>Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
>Problem #2: "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."
>
>Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
>Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."
[alternative noted in 2002
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
]
>Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
>Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."
>
>Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
>Solution: "Evidence removed."
>
>Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
>Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."
>
>Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
>Solution: "Live bugs on order."
>
>Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
>Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."
>
>Problem: "IFF inoperative."
>Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."
>
>Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
>Solution: "That's what they're there for."
>
>Problem: "Number three engine missing."
>Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."
>
>
>Problem: "On Flight Frequency switch turns off RDF"
>Solution: "There's *no* On Flight Frequency switch on the RDF unit"
>
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