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Have you head the Story of the Arc for the Ninties....

     And the Lord spoke to Noah and said: "In six months I'm going to make
     it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil
     people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of
     every kind of living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build
     Me an Ark," said the Lord.

     And in a flash of lightning He delivered the specifications for an

     "OK," said Noah, trembling in fear and fumbling with the blueprints.
     "Six months, and it starts to rain" thundered the Lord. "You'd better
     have my Ark completed, or learn how to swim for a very long time."

     And six months passed.

     The skies began to cloud up and rain began to fall. The Lord saw that
     Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping.
     And there was no Ark.

     "Noah," shouted the Lord, "where is my Ark?" A lightning bolt crashed
     into the ground next to Noah, for emphasis.

     "Lord, please forgive me," begged Noah. "I did my best. But there were
     big problems. First I had to get a building permit for the Ark
     construction project, and your plans didn't meet Code. So I had to
     hire an engineer to redraw the plans. Then I got into a big fight over
     whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system. My neighbors
     objected claiming I was violating zoning by building the Ark in my
     front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission.

     "Then I had a big problem getting enough wood for the Ark because
     there was a ban on cutting trees to save the Spotted Owl.

     Then the carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to
     negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before
     anyone would pick up a saw or a hammer.
     Now we got 16 carpenters going on the boat, and still no owls.

     "Then I started gathering up the animals, and got sued by an animal
     rights group. They objected to me taking only two of each kind. Just
     when I got the suit dismissed, EPA notified me that I couldn't
     complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on
     your proposed Flood.

     Then the Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed new
     flood plain. I sent them a globe.

     And the IRS (The tax authorities) has seized all my assets claiming
     I'm trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country, and I just
     got a notice from the state about owing some
     kind of use tax.

     "I really don't think I can finish your Ark for at least another five
     years," Noah wailed.

     The sky began to clear. The sun began to shine. A rainbow arched
     across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you're not going
     to destroy the earth?" Noah asked, hopefully.

     "Wrong!" thundered the Lord. "But being Lord of the Universe has its
     advantages. I fully intend to smite the Earth,
     but with something far worse than a Flood. Something Man invented

     "What's that?" asked Noah.

     There was a long pause, and then the Lord spoke:


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Earth: too weird to destroy.
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