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[collected 2003-06-27 (dawn)]

Nursery rhymes from our childhood.

Mary had a little skirt
With splits right up the sides
And every time that Mary walked
The boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
It was split right up the front
But she didn't wear that one very often.

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two chunks of bread.


Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.


Simple Simon met a Pie man, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman to Simple Simon
Pies, you dickhead.


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumtpy had a great fall
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
Said " F*** him, he's only an egg.

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon
10,000 volts went up its ass
And turned its wool to nylon.


Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.


Jack and Jill went up the hill
to have some hanky panky
silly Jill forgot her pill
and now there's little Frankie.


Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To fetch the dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.

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