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\leftline{Immanuel Kant was a real pissant}
\leftline{\quad Who was very rarely stable.}
\leftline{Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar}
\leftline{\quad Who could think you under the table.}
\leftline{David Hume could out-consume}
\leftline{\quad Schopenhauer and Hegel,}
\leftline{And Wittgenstein was a beery swine}
\leftline{\quad Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.}
\leftline{There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya}
\leftline{\quad 'Bout the raising of the wrist.}
\leftline{Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed!}
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\leftline{John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,}
\leftline{\quad On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.}
\leftline{Plato, they say, could stick it away}
\leftline{\quad Half a crate of whiskey every day.}
\leftline{Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,}
\leftline{\quad Hobbes was fond of his dram,}
\leftline{And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:}
\leftline{\quad ``I drink, therefore I am''}
\leftline{Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;}
\leftline{\quad A lovely little thinker }
\leftline{But a bugger when he's pissed!}
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\centerline{-- Monty Python}
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