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From jittlov@gumby.cs.caltech.edu Sun Nov  1 10:06:56 1992
Path: ai-lab!snorkelwacker.mit.edu!hri.com!spool.mu.edu!uwm.edu!wupost!usc!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!news.claremont.edu!nntp-server.caltech.edu!gumby!jittlov
From: jittlov@gumby.cs.caltech.edu (Mike Jittlov)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.mike-jittlov
Subject: boo
Summary: Scarey stuff
Keywords: I mean it, this is kinda scarey
Message-ID: <1d0j2kINN5cp@gap.caltech.edu>
Date: 1 Nov 92 12:37:40 GMT
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
Lines: 268
NNTP-Posting-Host: gumby.cs.caltech.edu


The following posting is not for the faint-hearted, or the ill-humored.

It is, however and in my opinion, entirely appropriate for this time of
the year...  Since this is the midpoint between the Equinox and the
Solstice, when "the veil between the worlds is thinnest"...when Reality
and the Twilight Zone meet, and the Law of the land is "Trick or Treat".

(whoa, a rhyme)

(I did warn you)    

QUAYLE'S GREATEST QUOTES                       Last updated October 16, 1992

"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle addressing the 20th
                   anniversary celebration of the moon landing, 7/20/89

"Those same asteroids which promise material riches can be a threat as well."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/1/90

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, to NASA employees, 9/5/90

"We will move forward, we will move upward, and yes, we will move onward."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle to a group of students at
                   a Chicago school, 4/24/89

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle on the concept of a
                   manned mission to Mars.

"If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, to the Phoenix Republican
                   Forum, 3/23/90

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.  It's the impurities
 in our air and water that are doing it."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind.  Or not to have a mind is being
 very wasteful.  How true that is."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle winning friends while
                   speaking to the United Negro College Fund, 5/9/89

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and
 have a tremendous impact on history."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle gives his opinion of the book
                   "Nicholas and Alexandra" 9/28/88

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

"Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific.  It is IN the
 Pacific.  It is a part of the United States that is an island that is
 right here."   -- Vice President Dan Quayle in Hawaii, 4/25/89

"...getting [cruise missiles] more accurate so that we can have precise
 precision."    -- Vice President Dan Quayle referring to his legislative
                   work dealing with cruise missiles

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate, things."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 11/30/88

"We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

"This president is going to lead us out of this recovery.  It will happen."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle at a campaign stop at CA State
                   University, Fresno, 1/17/92

"This isn't a man who is leaving with his head between his legs."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle discussing John Sununu's
                   resignation and apparent lack of flexibility, 12/6/92

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle talking about the Mideast
                   situation, 9/22/90

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and
 democracy - but that could change."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/22/89

"[The U.S. victory in the Gulf War was] a stirring victory for the forces of
 aggression."   -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 4/11/91

"I want to be Robin to Bush's Batman."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

"The future will be better tomorrow."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

"That's a very popular message.  The problem is the messenger."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

"Obviously, if you join the National Guard, you have less of a chance
 of going to Vietnam.  I mean it goes without saying."
                -- Vice-President Dan Quayle discussing his draft record
                   on NBC's "Meet the Press," 9/20/92

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

"We lead in exporting jobs."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle committing a Freudian slip while
                   speaking to the Evansville Chamber of Commerce (Indiana),
                   a city which lost 4 large companies in the last 4 years.
                   He quickly changed the word "jobs" to "products", 7/26/92

"I don't have to experience tragedy to understand it."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle during a photo-op in LA,
                   responding to criticisms that he didn't understand what
                   it meant to live in the "inner city" 6/23/92

"When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and
 the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple:  who is to
 blame for the riots?  The rioters are to blame.  Who is to blame for the
 killings?  The killers are to blame."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle giving an in-depth analysis of
                   the LA riots, at the SF Commonwealth Club, 5/19/92

"I don't watch it, but I know enough to comment on it."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle defending his opinions about
                   the TV show "Murphy Brown", 5/21/92

"And for those concerned about children growing up in poverty, we should
 know this:  marriage is probably the best anti-poverty program of all."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, addressing the
                   Commonwealth Club of San Francisco, 5/19/92

"I think especially in her position, a highly successful professional woman,
 it would be a real exception to have an unwed child."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle to The Chron's Jerry Roberts

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/20/92

"[Abortion] is not an issue with the American people.  It is a figment of
 your imagination if you think that this is an issue that is talked about
 a lot."        -- Vice President Dan Quayle to reporters while flying back
                   to Washington, 9/24/92

"Most women do not want to be liberated from their essential natures
 as women."     -- Vice-President Dan Quayle in Kansas City, MO, 9/2/92

"Speaking as a man, it's not a woman's issue.  Us men are tired of losing
 our women."    -- Vice President Dan Quayle, talking about breast cancer

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

"I hope there's some respect and dignity for things I did not do."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle defending himself against
                   allegations of involvement with Paula Parkinson, 8/23/88

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/18/90

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/21/88

"Add one little bit on the end...  Think of `potato,' how's it spelled?
 You're right phonetically, but what else...?"  [The student respelled it,
 as "potatoe"]  "There ya go!  Alright!"
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle correcting a student during a
                   spelling bee at an Trenton, NJ, elementary school, 6/15/92

"I should have caught the mistake on that spelling bee card.  But as Mark
 Twain once said, `You should never trust a man who has only one way to
 spell a word'." - Vice President Dan Quayle, actually quoting from
                   President Andrew Jackson.

"I should have remembered that was Andrew Jackson who said that, since
 he got his nickname `Stonewall' by vetoing bills passed by Congress."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, confusing Andrew Jackson
                   with Confederate General Thomas J. "Stonewall" Jackson,
                   who got his nickname at the first Battle of Bull Run

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/89

"I have made good judgements in the Past.  I have made good judgements in
 the Future."   -- Vice President Dan Quayle

"Public speaking is very easy."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle to reporters in 10/88

"I'm the Vice-President.  They know it, and they know that I know it."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle talking about his political
                   enemies, 3/13/89

"I wear their scorn as a badge of honor."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle discussing how he copes with
                   criticism from the media elite, 6/9/92

"I am not part of the problem.  I am a Republican."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

"I just don't believe in the basic concept that someone should make their
 whole career in public service."
                -- Vice President (former senator, former congressman, etc.)
                   Dan Quayle

"The destruction, it is just very heart-rendering."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, attempting to say the San
                   Francisco quake wreckage was heart-rending, 10/30/89

"I would like to express my sympathy to all those impacted by this disaster."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle standing in front of the
                   collapsed 2-level freeway, after the Loma Preta quake

"I couldn't help but be impressed by the magnitude of the earthquake."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, stepping out of the
                   helicopter upon arrival at Alameda Naval Air Station

"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle after the SF quake, 10/19/89

"I've heard people say that [I have a short attention span].  I don't feel
 I do, because when I'm interested in something I'll stay in focus as long
 as it is necessary.  If you get off on something I'm not very interested
 in, it's very easy for me to block it out.  It's easy for me to block
 things out."   -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 1/12/92

"In George Bush you get experience, and with me you get - The Future!"
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle in eastern Illinois, 10/19/88

 Dan Quayle had a trip planned to Beijing, but was worried because of the
 turmoil at that end.  His security adviser however informed him that it
 was pretty safe for Quayle as, "They are only harassing intellectuals."

>From the Original Dan Quayle Misquote Megalist, amassed by MICHAEL GOLDSMAN 
36004 GA Tech Station, Atlanta, GA 30332 --- email: goldsman@cc.gatech.edu

Further distilled, edited, and put into an amusing order by Mike Jittlov
             email:  jittlov@gumby.cs.caltech.edu & alt.fan.mike-jittlov

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