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[collected 2001-06-27 (not necessarily my views, but still funny)]

LOVE  VS  LUST  VS  MARRIAGE

LOVE -When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST -When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE -When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.
                        >> >> >
LOVE -When intercourse is called "making love."'
LUST -When intercourse is called "screwing."
MARRIAGE -When intercourse is a town in Pennsylvania.
                        >> >> >
LOVE -When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST -When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE -When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.
                        >> >> >
LOVE -When you share everything you own.
LUST -When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE -When the bank owns everything.
                        >> >> >
LOVE -When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST -When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE -When ... uh ... what's a climax?
                        >> >> >
LOVE -When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
LUST -When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
MARRIAGE -When you phone each other to bitch about work.
                        >> >> >
LOVE -When you write poems about your partner.
LUST -When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE -When all you write is checks.
                        >> >> >
LOVE -When your only concern is for your partner's feelings.
LUST -When your only concern is to find a room with mirrors all around.
MARRIAGE -When your only concern is what's on TV.
                        >> >> >
LOVE -When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST -When you only see each other naked.
MARRIAGE -When you never see each other awake.
                        >> >> >
LOVE -When your heart flutters every time you see them.
LUST -When your groin twitches every time you see them.
MARRIAGE -When your wallet empties every time you see them.
                       >> >> >
LOVE -When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST -When the song on the radio determines how you do it.
MARRIAGE -When you listen to talk radio.
                        >> >> >
LOVE -When breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST -When staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE -When just getting through the day is your only  thought.
                        >> >> >
LOVE -When you're only interested in doing things with your partner.
LUST -When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner.
MARRIAGE -When you're only interested in your golf score.
                        >> >> >
LOVE -When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and talk.
LUST -When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and have sex.
MARRIAGE -When a rainy day means it's time to clean the basement.
                        >> >> >
LOVE -You only leave the house to buy coffee and doughnuts.
LUST -You only leave the house to buy condoms and KY jelly.
MARRIAGE-You only leave the house when you're allowed to.

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