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To: All Employees
Subject: Special High Intensity Training

In order to insure that we continue to produce the highest quality work
possible, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through
our program of Special High Intensity Training (SHIT).  We are giving our
employees more SHIT than any other company in town.

If you feel you do not receive your share of SHIT on the job, please see
you supervisor.  You will be placed on top of the SHIT list for special
attention.  All of our supervisors are particularly qualified to see that
you get all the SHIT you can handle at your own speed.

If you consider yourself to be trained enough already, you may be
interested in helping us train others.  We can add you to our Basic
Understanding Lecture List, Special High Intensity Training (BULLSHIT).

If you have any further questions, please address them to our Head Of
Training, Special High Intensity Training (HOTSHIT).

Thank you,

            Boss In General,
            Special High Intensity Training (BIGSHIT)

PS: With the personality some of you display around here, you could easily
become the Director of Intensity Programming, Special High Intensity
Training (DIPSHIT).
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