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Article 1324 of rec.humor.funny:
Path: ut-emx!cs.utexas.edu!rutgers!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!utgpu!watmath!looking!funny-request
From: jss@Sun.COM (Josh Sirota)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: How to read electronics advertising
Keywords: computer, chuckle
Message-ID: <18630@looking.on.ca>
Date: 21 Sep 89 10:30:06 GMT
Article-I.D.: looking.18630
Posted: Thu Sep 21 05:30:06 1989
Sender: funny@looking.on.ca
Lines: 39
Approved: funny@looking.on.ca
Reply-Path: Sun.COM!jss

This was posted to a Sun-local newsgroup.  Apparently it originated at HP.


 When It Says:                  It Really Means:
--------------                  ----------------
Available Now!                  We overstocked / We can't sell any.
                                (Alternative: We have a really hot
                                item at an outrageous price)

State-of-the-Art Design         We can't get the chips yet but we hope to
                                before manufacturing starts.

Proven reliability              Antiquated technology and obsolete parts.

Compatible with most systems    Favor us with a big enough order and we'll
                                start designing an interface

Tremendous expandibility        The unbundled "bare-bones" system with the
                                low advertised price is virtually useless.

User-friendly                   Slow, eats memory for lunch, and probably
                                won't meet your specific needs (but for a fat
                                consulting fee, we'll be happy to customize
                                it for you).

Advanced features               We couldn't get rid of the quirks/bugs in the
                                system, so we're pretending we planned them
                                all along.

Competitively priced            Costs less than IBM's.
Josh Sirota
Sun Microsystems, NSE group
Edited by Brad Templeton.  MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.ON.CA
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.  I will reply, mailers willing.

Jokes ABOUT major current events should be sent to topical@looking.ON.CA

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