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From: Morgan Kuzio 

 "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
 "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
 "What sort of trouble?" 
 "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
 "Went away?"
 "They disappeared."
 "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
 "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
 "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
 "How do I tell?"
 "Can you see the "C" prompt on the screen?"
 "What's a sea-prompt?"
 "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
 "There isn't any cursor.  I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
 "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
 "What's a monitor?"
 "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does  it have a
 little light that tells you when it's on?"
 "I don't know."
 "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
 goes into it. Can you see that?"
 "...Yes, I think so."
 "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the
 "I can't see it because it's dark in here."
 "Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from
 the window."
 "Well, turn on the office light then."
 "I can't."
 "No? Why not?"
 "Because there's a power outage."
 "A power... a power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now.   Do you
 still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your  computer came in?"
 "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
 "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
 when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
 "Really? Is it that bad?"
 "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
 "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
 "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
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Cogito ergo spud (I think therefore I yam).
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