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[collected Fri Jul 19 19:23:29 2002]

OK, So Tell Me This....

Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the
core of the earth?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why is it called 'Alcoholics Anonymous' when the first thing you do is
stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?
If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
Why are they called 'stairs' inside but 'steps' outside?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?
Why does mineral water that "has trickled through mountains for
centuries" have a "use by" date?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp no-one would eat?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, I think I'll squeeze 
these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
What do people in China call their good plates?

Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but not to 
their crotch when they ask where the toilet is?

Is a cocktail party an affair where a man gets stiff, a woman gets
tight, and they return home to find that neither is either?

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Cogito ergo spud (I think therefore I yam).
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