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From: blojo@soda.berkeley.edu (Jon Blow)
Newsgroups: alt.motd
Subject: Motd 12/8/1991
Date: 28 Mar 92 03:08:06 GMT

12/8    Japanese:       x wa 3 desu.
        PostScript:     /x 3 def
        forth:          3 x !
        English:        x is 3 (more correct: value of variable x is 3)
        c:              x = 3;
                        \_ Or, (x = 0)++++++;
        Lisp:           (define x 3) or (defun x 3) or (setq x 3)
                                        \_Maybe (defun x () 3) ?, but not this
                                        \_(defconst x "x is three" 3)
        Scheme:         (set! x 3)
        Logo:           make "x 3
        C Shell:        set x = 3
                        \_ Well, not unless you're not planning to use it as
                           a number.  If you were, the correct way to do this
                           would be @ x = 3 (the @ specifies a numerical 
        Bourne Shell:   x=3
        Roman:          x is III (should be done in latin, tho)
                        x est III
                        \_Doesn't this actually say "10 = 3"?
                                \__Of course it does.  That's why rome fell.
        Porno:          x equals number of legs of a man.
        Prolog:         X is 3.
        Hebrew:         x 3
                        \_ Actually, I think it would be "x shave (two
                           consonants, first is sha, the other ve, NOT like
                           'shave' (with a razor)) 3"
        BASIC:          10 let x = 3
        BIFF:           ARE THEIR ANN^HY CHIKZ HEAR!??!!
        MR:             Wh0 gives a sh*t!
        "Bob":          Let x equal 3 OR KILL ME!!!
        Gordon Cole:    YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WHEN?
        Cooper:         Diane, I am examining what appears to be a piece of
                        paper about 1 inch square with the following words
                        scrawled across it in what appears to be the
                        handwriting of a 5 year old: "X equals 3".  I
                        can't quite remember where I've heard this before,
                        but if I understand the local customs, this is
                        but one of many similar yet different statements.
        INTERCAL:       PLEASE DO .1 <- #3
        MIPS:           addi r6, r0, #3 ; r6 is x, folks.
        Valgol:         LIKE UMM X = 3 ** MAX
        Redcode:        none (x = 3 is inexpressible; there are no variables.)
        xxxxxxxx:       X should be 3 but I'll do it later...
                        \_ I thought delayed evaluation was a cool thing...
                        \_ Delayed evaluation is a cool thing, but, while
                           evaluation is needed in a hurry, it isn't.
        Negativland:    The number is 3 and the letter is x.  There is
                        no other possibility.
                                \_ I still can't find the number
                                        I'm grepping for.
        Xtrekspeak      Like I torped x 3 times and phasered him, totally!
        Mud91           X picks up 3 gold pieces and now has 3.
        Sequent         Darn, I'm only massacring x 3 times a round. 
        Jon Logic:      X might be equal to 3 ...  if you have to ask, you
                        don't know.
                        \_ Jon logic can't possibly exist.  Mail
                           jon-logic@soda for info
                        \_ What do you mean Jon Logic doesn't exist?  It's a
                           fundemental principle of the universe!
                                \_ this *COULD* say something about the
                        \_ I didn't say it doesn't exist.  I said it
                           can't exist, and that's not my problem.
                           It's not even Marcel Duchamp's problem.
        DWIM:           X is, well, you know.
                        \_ It's actually 
                           > (setf x 3)
                           ==> Correcting (setf x 3) to (setf x t).  OK? No.
                                \_ Say what???
        PC:             A byte of the variable persuasion has been set to
                        the first instance of evenly-challenged prime numbers.
        oo90:           Segmentation fault.  Core dumped. 
        oo91:           Compiler error. Compilation aborted.
                                \_ Wrong-- that's hilf output, dude.
                #define Assign(var , value) var = (value )
                #define increment_integer(tar, quantum)  (tar+quantum)
                Assign(x, increment_integer(
                         3 ___
                           /| \|/  /|
                          / |  V  / |
                         /__|____/  |
                        |       |   |
                        |       |   |
                        |   X   |  /
                        |       | /

        Python: And Saint Attila raised the variable X up on high
                saying, "Oh Lord, Bless us this Holy Variable X, and
                with it smash our stacks to tiny bits."  And the Lord
                did grin, and the people did feast upon the Cokes,
                and Snickers Bars, and IBC Root Beers, and breakfast
                cereals, and lima bean-...

                And then the Lord spake, saying:

                First, shalt thou declare the holy namespace.
                Then shalt thou count to 3.  No more, no less.
                3 shall be the number of the counting, and the
                number of the counting shall be 3.  4 shalt thou
                not count, and neither count thou 2, excepting
                that thou then goest on to 3.  5 is RIGHT OUT.
                Once the number 3, being integers[3] be reached,
                then assigneth thou thy Holy Variable X in thy
                lexical scope, which, having not reserved space
                for thine storage, shall snuff it.  Amen.

        xxxx:   cp -i /dev/null /etc/motd
        xxxxx:  Heh.  You'd like to know why x is 3, wouldn't you?
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